Throwback Thursday

I decided to dedicate this "Throwback Thursday" to my mentor, my inspiration, my late grandmother. 

A woman that I am lucky to have known. 

I never did grow into those eyes...

Hadn't quite mastered the art of smiling on cue. But look at my grandma.
She always had the most fabulous clothes. 

And the most fabulous glasses. 

All smiles on Christmas morning.

My brother always called her "Yah-ma"

Halloween

Easter

Meeting baby McKenzie

Sweet glasses Shea...

High School Graduation

A day at the races with the girls.
My grandma LOVED the horse races. Even used to have horses IN them!

Family

Thanksgiving at the country club. She could work a pant suite like no one else.
And in RED no less!

I had my 21st birthday in Las Vegas and my grandparents came and celebrated with me!
How cool is that??

I have so many wonderful memories that I will cherish forever.

Miss you every day grandma. 

Up Against the Wall

It's no secret. 

I love gallery walls. 

I love the idea of having a collection of all your favorite things all in one place. 

And, as OCD and detail oriented as I am, I actually prefer the mismatched frames and the random placement vs. the all the same frame, all the same size all in perfect placement.

In my room I more-so have a collection of colors that I love. As you can see with my use of embroidery hoops and fabric. I guess I'm kind of scared to commit to anything in my bedroom because I tend to change the decor often. 

(Beamer usually approves though. Haha)

I tend to gather little things I like from place to place. A few months back I ordered two custom canvas prints from Easy Canvas Prints of my dogs. Unfortunately they arrived after I lost my little Lexie but it made the print that much more special. I was so in love with them that I just threw them up on the wall haphazardly on just some random nails I had hanging and this was the result.

 As you can see the spacing is off and things are crooked and I kept telling myself I'd get around to it but never did, until last night, I finally did!

Looking back I really should have taken photos during the process but, like a kid, I was just so excited to get everything up on the wall that I, of course didn't.

Using a similar technique as was used here I chose all of my favorite pieces and traced them onto newspaper. (Side note: I wouldn't recommend newspaper because it's messy, it was just what I had so it worked.) Cut out the traced newspaper. Marked where the nails should be placed. Figured out how I wanted everything by taping it up on the wall. SO much easier than hanging and then deciding you don't like it. The three pieces that I really wanted as the focal pieces were my OSHEAGA poster and my two prints of my dogs. So they were the first to be placed. The OSHEAGA poster was placed in the middle of the wall and then I worked from the inside out to figure out the placement of everything else. Once I was happy, in went the nails and up went the prints! And voila!

I couldn't be happier with the results! I literally sat on the couch just staring at the wall for like 20 minutes after we finished because I loved it so much. And I love the incorporation of my two angels, my Lexie and my grandma. My big fear now is finding more artwork that I like! Haha. I guess that's why there are so many walls in a house!

(1. Avocado painting by my friend Heather Kent. // 2. Dachshund silhouette that I bought at the OC fair. I believe Leslie Stone was the artist. // 3. Mirror in a gold frame that I picked up from Goodwill for $5.99 (I actually bought two of them but only ended up using one). Originally it was meant to be hung vertically but we took the hook off and replaced it so that it could be hung horizontally. // 4. "S", not actually sure where I bought it but I'm sure from Marshall's or something like that. // 5. "Love Is What It's All About" print from Home Goods. // 6. Canvas print of Beamer from Easy Canvas Prints. // 7. A hand painted nature scene painted by my grandmother that I found while putting things together for her memorial. She was an incredible artist with a very special gift. // 8. Sprinkles cupcakes. My roommate is obsessed with Sprinkles cupcakes. Her friend painted this for her for her birthday one year. // 9. "The Long and Short of it" dachshund print, I believe from Target. // 10. My Lexie canvas print from Easy Canvas Prints. 11. My limited edition (only 400 printed) Osheaga poster, numbered and signed by artist Pat Hamou.)

I'm SO happy with the way it turned out. It makes the room feel warmer and more put together. I also really like how it does a great job camouflaging my thermostat. It even looks almost like it's part of the collage!

Next time maybe I'll actually remember to document what I'm doing because that would definitely make for a better blog post! Haha.

"I Wish You Enough"

My last blog post was over three months ago and, generally, my lack of blogging is a result of being too busy and, while, I have been busy, I have also been at a loss for where to even begin with my next post. 

The last few months have, by far, been the hardest of my life. 

Less than two weeks after my last post, on May 18 my sweet baby girl Lexie got her angel wings. 

It was a long, painful journey  with my sweet little girl, but I have found peace in knowing that she is no longer suffering. I had a wonderful support system, particularly my mom and my two best friends who were there every step of the way and whose hearts broke with mine. My greatest concern was how my other dog, Beamer, would handle the loss. Luckily both Lexie and Beamer, while they were best buds, were also very independent of each other so he has seemed pretty ok through it all.

Less than a month later, on June 14 my grandmother had a stroke. Nothing serious or life threatening, so we thought. She would just need to spend some time in rehabilitation, like after most strokes. But,  just over a month after losing Lexie, on June 29, my grandma joined her. I can't even begin to express the loss of my grandmother. The world truly has become a little bit darker since her sparkle has dimmed. She was an absolutely wonderful person who I take pride in being so much like. She was one of my very best friends and I have found myself in a very dark place since loosing her. We all know that one day everyones time here on earth will come to an end, some sooner than others, and we certainly know that one day we will say goodbye to our grandparents, but I really wasn't ready. Most people say that after a loss, time is the only thing that heals. For me though, time has made things worse. For each new thing that I have experienced and wanted to share with her, the sting has been a little stronger. For example, I just got back from an awesome trip to Canada. When I booked the trip, both Lexie and my grandmother were still here. My grandma was so excited for the trip, her being quite the travel guru. Arriving back home had this sting that I can't explain. I never got a chance to call her and tell her all about my trip, like was so customary on any others I'd been on. 

My grandma truly was the most wonderful woman and, referring to her in the past tense is yet another thing that stings but I know that she lived a wonderful life and she wouldn't want me to be sad. And I know this because when putting things together for her memorial service, my cousin stumbled upon this document on her computer:

"Please do not grieve for me as my journey has been so full and so fulfilling. I realized more victories than defeats and more joys than sorrows. My friends and family were always there for me. I have shed my share of tears but also more than my share of laughter. I have but three grandchildren, Shea, Austin and McKenzie but they have made my heart full of joy, they are my pride and joy. 
I will never really be far away as long as I remain in your hearts as you will mine. I have such dear family and friends that have preceded me and I look forward to renewing old times with them. 
We all must take this journey when it is our time and we should go not in fear but with trust in God's judgment of our departure time. 
Thank you all for being a part of this wonderful adventure that I have had the privilege to experience. To my beloved family, I will close with a poem written by a dear friend of mine's brother it just about says it all. 

'When I come to the end of the day and the sun has set on me - 
I want no rites in a gloom filled room, Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not too long and not with your head bowed low. 
Remember the love we once shared - MISS ME BUT LET ME GO

For this is a journey we all must take and each must go alone. 
It's all a part of the Maker's plan, A step on the road to home. 
When you are lonely and sick at heart, Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds - Miss me, but let me go.'

Please go in joy and peace and make your life as memorable as I did mine. 

Until we meet again, I wish you enough."

"I wish you enough" was a phrase that she really liked, meaning, enough love, enough laughter, basically enough of everything to make your life a good one. Finding that on her computer was so bittersweet because it was nice to have some words from her, but also a little heartbreaking that she seemed to have written that knowing her time was almost up. I am so extraordinarily lucky to have had the honor and pleasure of knowing and loving such a wonderful woman and role model. I hope to make the kind of impact on this world that she did and one day, if I'm lucky, I hope I get a chance to be even half the grandmother that I was lucky enough to have. 

A couple of quotes that I found and really liked:

“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” 
― Anne Lamott

“It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.” 
― John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent

I know this was not a fun upbeat blog post but, like my friend Danica said, it's something good to do, both as a way to get it out but also as a way to remember and look back on, as painful as it might be, it IS something that happened and, likely something that will mold and shape me.

I'm a lucky girl that I have these two beautiful ladies as my guardian angels and have hope that one day I'll be able to see them both again and see Lexie's wagging tail and hear my grandma's infectious laugh.

OctobIRTHDAYS GALORE!

October is such a great month.

The air gets a little more crisp. All of us girls get to break out our boots and scarves that have been locked away in the closet since the first hints of summer. Tv watching is now done in sweats with a blanket and perhaps a warm beverage. And best of all, I, personally, get to spend the month celebrating all of my favorite people!

I don't know what it is but I seem to have a strong affinity for Libras and Scorpios which keeps me VERY busy in the month of October and some of November. Let me give you just a little run down of my month...

So as you can see, it's quite a busy month for me but I love celebrating the people I love so I'm not complaining :)

 

And when I say it's all my favorite people, I mean it! Just look at my "Favorites" on my phone! (yes, I have GoCountry on my favorites... I want to win Stagecoach tickets!)

 

For Danica's birthday we spent a fun evening at one of our favorite local bars. Very "us". For her gift, among other things, I got us tickets to see the Long Island Medium LIVE! I am addicted to almost every show on TLC and whether she likes it or not, I have gotten Danica into a few of them. Long Island Medium is one of those shows and we LOVE her. I saw that she was coming to Long Beach so I got us tickets and we are SO excited! :)

For Stefana's birthday we went to a nice brunch at Lazy Dog Cafe. I wasn't feeling real well but we managed to get a couple new cute photos to put up in the house. :)

I got her this cute necklace from Jessica Jane K's Etsy shop:

Stefana loves all things Dr. Seuss and I love all things gold and girly so this gift was the perfect mix.

 

For my grandma's birthday me and my mom and my cousin all surprised her and showed up at her house (in Oceanside) for dinner. When she saw us she couldn't even form a full sentence she was so surprised. It was awesome. I've never seen her so surprised. For some reason lately she seems to refuse to smile in photos but she was happy I swear! :) (her best friend Meryl came and surprised her as well!) It was a really great night.

 

Katie had a mellow birthday at one of our go-to spots Tantalum in Long Beach. Danica and I went over there for a bit but, sadly, didn't snap any photos.

 

And then it was my moms birthday. My mom (like most moms) is one of those people that never does anything for herself. She always takes care of everyone else, cleans up after everyone else. So I try my best to make her birthdays special.

These photos are from a few years back. I got us a limo and all of her girlfriends (and mine) together to go to a nice dinner in Newport Beach. (and yes, obviously the "25" candles was a joke).

This photo was from last year. A group of us again got a limo and treated mom to a nice dinner, drinks, and even a little dancing. :)

My parents just recently bought a new home so my mom wanted to just do a mellow birthday this year, which, was fine by me. So I baked her the standard birthday cake that is made for everyones birthdays in our family. Yellow cake with chocolate frosting.

I love any excuse to wrap a gift so, even though my gift already came in a gift bag, I had to re-wrap it myself.

We had a nice dinner at a restaurant within walking distance of their new house it was a nice mellow night with family.

Sadly, my friend Maryam celebrated her birthday on my moms birthday so I wasn't able to join in her festivities but I plan on celebrating with her soon. I have some of my very best college memories with this girl and wish I was able to spend more time with her.

Same goes for my sorority big sis Jackie!

And lastly, my newly married friend who left us all for a job in Wisconsin... yes... I said Wisconsin... but is now BACK in California (In San Francisco... but STILL it's California!). I won't be able to celebrate with her but Sam and I have been talking about planning a trip up to San Fran to spend a weekend, which I'm really excited about because I haven't seen Haley since her wedding AND I love San Francisco. It's a win win! :)

 

 

 I had a wonderful time celebrating all of my most favorite people and now that it's all over I'm looking forward to the holiday season!

 

Hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween and my thoughts and prayers are with all the east coasters who are in the midst of the storm.

 

xoxo,

shea