Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Gimme Dat Rose: The Bachelorette Recap // Season 12, Episode 6

We begin the episode in Buenos Aires at the Plaza Hotel and all I can think about is Home Alone 2. JoJo is on some random park bench and Chris Harrison shows up for a heart to heart. She uses his name so many times it starts making me uncomfortable. We find out that this week will be a group date, a one on one date and for the first time in Bachelorette HISTORY, a second two on one date! I've gotta say, I'm a bit bummed we don't get the old Bachelor nation adage "Two guys, one rose, one stays one goes". I live for that stuff ABC!

One on One

Wells gets this weeks one on one and the card essentially has some sixpence none the richer lyrics on it and says "kiss me". He admits he's the only guy there that hasn't kissed her to the guys and it gets super awkward. And then they go on their date and it gets even more awkward. Then they go to this performance art place and it proceeds to get, you guessed it, even more awkward. They finally end up kissing in this pool of sorts that seems more like a womb than anything. As always, JoJo brings up past relationships at dinner. The two clearly aren't clicking and JoJo doesn't give him a rose. 

Group Date

Luke, Robby, Jordan, James (we don't have to call him James Taylor anymore! There is only one left!) and Alex are all chosen for the group date which means Derek and Chase will have the fateful two on one date. On the group date they kind of do touristy stuff around the city and then play a game of soccer with some locals. Poor James is spending the whole day being so down on himself the whole day saying how all the other guys are better looking than him, more athletic than him and I mean, it's all true, but it's sad to hear him admit it. They decide to play a game of whoever can score a goal gets to kiss JoJo and James of all people wins! I cheered a little, not gunna lie. What is it about rooting for the underdog, oh, and he's on my fantasy team so that probably doesn't hurt. 

At the cocktail hour after the date James totally calls out Jordan over what seems to be a disagreement on the rules of poker? Seems a bit unnecessary James...
It was at the cocktail hour that I realized Luke says "like" a LOT. Watch for it, and you will forever hate that I pointed it out. JoJo of course goes right to Jordan to confront him about what James said about him and he defends himself, big surprise. There is clearly tension between the two now. Luke ends up with the group date rose. 

One on One

The two on one date is an awkward two on one tango that perfectly depicts exactly what is happening on the date. Derek is crazy confident while their dancing despite his lake of skill. Because I know how the show works, Derek being confident is foreshadowing his impending doom. The awkward dance leads to an awkward dinner, and lets cut to the chase, Derek gets sent home. Even though yes I was made to think he would be, Chase was a mega dud too, she coulda just sent them both him in my opinion. BYE. (Derek was on my fantasy team tho, sad face). Derek is in the car doing his exit interview crying while JoJo and Chase are literally watching a performance of Don't Cry for me Argentina or some shit and I'm dying laughing. 

Rose Ceremony

The numbers are dwindling rapidly at this point, I feel like hometowns are just around the corner. As always, one of the guys says that "the hay is in the barn" and I don't know how many more times I can hear one of them say that. During the rose ceremony JoJo steps away and tells Chris Harrison she can't hand out the final rose and just when you think she is sending both Alex and James home, Chris comes back with a tray with two roses on it. OH SHIT! NO ONE IS GOING HOME! Stop trying to trick me ABC. James's smile after that rose ceremony though was pretty cute. 

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