Gimme Dat Rose: The Bachelorette Recap // Season 12, Episode 2

Well, from the looks of things... from here on out we should probably just refer to the show as "The Chadchelorette". It took all of one episode to take a hard right onto the exit to Chad Town. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. Meat shoveling and phrases like "I always say stay away from nice guys" are the whole reason I watch the show.

Let's begin...

We start yet again with JoJo discussing her Ben heartbreak and calling this experience of becoming the Bachelorette a "dream come true". Call me crazy but my dream doesn't involve being dumped on national television but... to each their own.

Then we head back to the Bachelor mansion where they guys are huddled for a toast with their morning mimosas #brunchsohard. It quickly takes a turn when Chad so eloquently toasts "Beautiful girl, beautiful life, Fu*k you guys, Imma make her my wife".

Group Date

The date card arrives and I lose count of how many guys are on it. It ended up being a nice intimate group of ten. Immediately after receiving the date card it's like bombs over Baghdad and we start hearing explosions, the guys run out front to see a limo on fire. Gee ABC... that's where we're at? Really? Burning Limos? Of course JoJo rolls up in a firetruck to put it out (in slow motion no less) and all I can think is... aren't we still in a drought in California? WAY too many guys use obvious lines including "hot" and "on fire" and the fire date continues...

Meanwhile back at the house we see Chad organizing his suitcase of protein powder. Yes, an ENTIRE SUITCASE of protein powder. Just when you catch your breath from laughing about how meathead-y that is... he CHAINS the suitcase to his waist and starts doing PULL UPS with it dangling between his legs. You can't make this shit up. 

Back to the Group Date

All the group date guys are now at Rio Hondo Fire Academy with JoJo to compete for her, I mean find "true love". Of the ten guys, one of them (Grant) is an ACTUAL firefighter sooooo, he's gunna win this right? Long story short, he does, snags a kiss, Wells almost dies because he obviously doesn't fight fires in his down time and somewhere in there Daniel says "The last time I pulled a hose like this was back home, at my apartment." No Daniel, just... no. Luke was the runner up in the "save the fair maiden from the burning building" exercise and his "smoldering" look turns to borderline murder-y but... then he gets a kiss and it's all good. Wells gets the group date rose because... well, pity  (and that's when I realize he looks exactly like the kid from "Fear the Walking Dead" (with a haircut).

One on One

Date card arrives for the one on one date and it's for Derek! He's on my team so I'm obviously elated. It ends up being a date of "choices". First choice sky or sea... they choose sky, north or south, they choose north, they end up at a picnic overlooking the Golden Gate bridge. The idea behind the date was cute but my mind ended up racing thinking of all the possibilities of all the other date choices and I got a little distracted. JoJo is very adament about asking every guy about their past relationships and I'm reminded about the past relatinoship she had that ending up sending her roses during last season. Derek gets a kiss after weirdly saying his ex had maybe cheated?

Back at the House

James Taylor is heading up the guys in singing a song about JoJo like they are at sleepaway camp rehearsing for the talent show. It's cute to see all the guys hanging out and getting along though, so I approve. But guess who does NOT approve... The Chadchelorette of course. He wants no part in singing to a girl he barely knows, he also has a very strict "stay away from nice guys" policy, as most villains do. He makes some reference about making a protein shake with the rest of the guys in the house that I'm not sure anyone really understood but I think the real purpose was to make sure everyone knows, Chad likes him some protein shakes. WE GET IT CHAD.  

Group Date

It's time for another group date, this time with a smaller group of six. This leaves three guys this week date-less (spoiler alert... two of those three go home). The guys end up at ESPN where Jordan is quick to namedrop his brother (Aaron Rodgers for those of you who are behind), and I start to feel like this date will have an unfair advantage like the fireman at the firefighter challenge... turns out, nope. This is also where we get a glimpse at just HOW short Alex is. 

Poor guy. Chad proceeds to call JoJo "naggy" while the rest of the guys on the date gasp. He continues to become more cold and distant and JoJo is eating. it. up. What is it about the bad boys? Somehow these sports announcers (No idea who they are because...well... sports) rank the top three contenders as follows: James Taylor, Chad and Alex. In Jordans interview discussing being upset that Chad did so well, all I can think is... I wonder how he gets so much volume in that hair. 

Later at the cocktail portion of the group date James Taylor reads this adorably sweet poem to JoJo that makes her cry and we all know... she definitely won't be picking him, but he gets a kiss none the less. Alex and JoJo have their alone time in a giant chair which makes Alex look even tinier with his legs swinging. Cold ABC, cold. 

Chad comes out guns blazing with the one two punch, puppy AND dead mom in the same breath! Obviously his mom passing away is heartbreaking but the way he almost fished to talk about it by bringing up the puppy he "inherited" was odd. JoJo awards his heartbreak with a kiss. 

James Taylors tear jerking note gets him the group date rose.

Cocktail Party

Chad, like a creep, is waiting out front for JoJo to arrive with a white wine in hand for her. They go for a walk, he snags a kiss and they enter the mansion. Every guy in the house immediately wants to murder Chad. I don't think what he did was really wrong, I mean... he's playing the game! (Don't get me wrong... I still think he's a total tool.) He is immediately confronted and lies while shoveling insane amounts of deli meat in his mouth. I literally wrote in my notes "Chad is taking meathead to a whole new level". Grant proceeded to say the exact same thing. I mean, he is literally chewing during the rose ceremony. Will pulls JoJo aside to toilet paper the front of the mansion... want to guess if he ends up with a rose?

Rose Ceremony

Alex gets the first rose of the night and Chad says JoJo picked him because "she doesn't want America to think she hates short people". Man Chad, leaving no villain stone unturned. JoJo gives roses to some questionable choices and leaves the final rose for The Chadchelorette himself. James S., Brandon and Will all get the axe and I lose my first team member, the Bachelor Superfan. You will be missed James, you will be missed.

Join me next week as I recap the TWO NIGHT EVENT happening week three for no apparent reason. Oh... and if you haven't seen the photos that the Daily Mail dug up of a young JoJo... I suggest you go look... NOW.
*All Bachelorette photos property of ABC*

Drumroll Please...

I'm so excited to officially announce I have joined the team over at Something Turquoise!

Jen has been an absolute dream to work with and I have already learned so much! I will be helping her run her Pinterest as well as assisting with her (very crazy) DIY shoot days. Speaking of her amazing DIY's, go check out her latest one, the DIY Petal Toss Bar. (You might even catch a glimpse of me!)

Photo // Jen Carreiro

I consider myself so lucky to have been given this opportunity and I can't wait to see where it takes me.

Gimme Dat Rose: The Bachelorette Recap // Season 12, Episode 1

I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I have become a bit of a Bachelor super fan. It all began when my best friend Danica and I lived together after college down in Belmont Shore. We got hooked on a few shows together, The Bachelor/Bachelorette being one of them. We loved picking our favorite contestants, pausing to discuss all the drama and getting really excited when those pauses gave the perfect still shot of someone in the least flattering way.

Eventually our interest in the show lead to what is now in its third season... our fantasy draft. Thanks to Becca and Jorie over at Bach Fantasy it's SUPER easy. It all started with the controversial Britt/Kaitlyn season of the Bachelorette, where the bachelors themselves chose who they wanted as their Bachelorette. That, along with Nick showing up midway through the season, threw some kinks in our points but it was fun nonetheless.

Since then our league has grown and we now even have players in three different states, spreading across three different time zones!

After seasons of Danica and I saying we should do it (AND the fact that Betches didn't have their recap posted), I am going to attempt to do recaps for every episode this season. Now, don't get me wrong, they won't be in depth or insightful... it will be a culmination of my snap judgments and conversations had with my bestie and the rest of the league. Please excuse the length but as you may or may not know, night one is shit show (in the best way possible).

Let's begin, shall we?

We start with the obligatory solo shots of JoJo and her discussing her Ben heartbreak. Jojo is by far the most attractive Bachelorette in AWHILE... possibly EVER and yet they have the makeup caked on pretty thick... once she's in her bikini though, no one is looking at her face anyways and, is it just me or do her boobs look even bigger since last season?

JoJo sits down with past Bachelorettes Kaitlyn, Ali and Desiree, Ali who by the way is no longer with her final pick and is knocked up by none other than the spawn of KIIS FMs Valentine in the morning, but don't worry... he proposed (after they announced her pregnancy). Kaitlyn looks like she hasn't eaten since her season wrapped.

We begin seeing some of the eligible bachelors and while Grant's package shows him as a firefighter... his instagram account says he's a model sooooo...

Jordan is hot and I immediately regret not drafting him on my fantasy team (I had first pick this season after all!).

Alex is cute but too short  to be taken seriously (and I can say that... because I'm short). Is it just me or does his twin brother seem more proportionate?

Then our "Bachelor Super Fan" James, he is on my team and I can't tell if he's kidding or not. If he's kidding, he's hilarious and I love him... if he's not, he may need to seek psychological help. And like... does he have an ACTUAL occupation? The jury is still out on that one...

Evan... quite a career path change... he was a pastor and now he's an erectile dysfunction specialist? And all these weird sexual innuendos... I can't.

Ali I immediately love, he's not even on my team and I'm still rooting for him. He has a white baby grand piano which is my dream. Do I play? Of course not, I just like the way they look. There is something about him that seems so sweet and fun. I'm team Ali.

Christian is on my team and although his racist family history story is heartbreaking... I feel some points coming from this so bring it on!

Luke reminds me of  Matthew Lawrence who I've been in love with since first seeing him in Mrs. Doubtfire so, he's alright in my book. I'm starting to notice a pattern with the military men... does JoJo date exclusively military?

I like how the producers strategically placed all of the non-gimmick contestants in the first few limos so that when the gimmick-ers started rolling in the hate was palpable.

This is when we see the teaser for Jake Pavelka and Bachelor Nation in unison screams "NOOOOOOO" at their TVs.

Chris Harrison pops in to say hello and act shocked when JoJo tells him she's soooooo nervous. Also, Chris, you've been doing this show for what, DECADES?? Don't get your hair cut the day before shooting... give it a few days. Come on. What are you, new?

JoJo of COURSE looks fricken awesome in that flesh colored bodysuit of a dress. It almost makes me want to put down my beer and start doing sit ups... I said ALMOST.

Robby will henceforth be referred to as Stifler because, I mean, look at him.

Daniel has an awkward intro.

Will looks like a mix of Nick Swardson and the big brother from Home Alone... ammiright???

James Taylor is on my team and I'm considering myself lucky. A sweet country boy with a guitar and a southern drawl? Yes please!

Jonathan gets out of the limo in a kilt and I think to myself, "ok.... hear him out". He explains that he's half Chinese and half Scottish. Ok Jonathan... you shall pass. Then he proceeds to note that his bottom half is Scottish and he's not wearing any panties. Get back in the limo Jonathan. The other bachelors find the kilt to be ABSURD like he walked in wearing his flesh inside out. First of all... that's kind of how this show works, are you unfamiliar? One season a bachelorette showed up on night one in a WEDDING DRESS and, if memory serve correctly, she was the RUNNER UP that season. A kilt is not that crazy. Also... you're kind of being culturally insensitive to my Scottish brethren. Chill.

Then comes the Santa suit... ok that's a little more absurd BUT his name IS Nick and he's not the only Nick, kudos to linking your name to your get up Saint Nick.

Then they breeze through some other contestants like Brandon whose occupation is listed as "Hipster" in his bio and he begins to recite the hipster creed "I don't even have a TV so I have no idea who you are". Brandon, you could meet strangers anywhere... why come on a TV show to compete with 25 other guys to do so?

Daniel begins to spiral as at least one contestant always does on night one. It's never good to hear "I'm not really a drinker". Oh so you don't usually drink? And now you're at an awkward cocktail party that lasts until dawn? Greeeeeeeat. Let us also note that his occupation is listed as "Male Model", I think just "Model" would have sufficed Daniel but that's just the Derek Zoolander in you "Oh the files are IN the computer". SMH

Wells is cute and looks like a taller version of Chris Carrabba so I approve. Bringing an acapella group? I'll allow it.

The non gimmick bachelors are quickly forming a gang against the gimmick wielding bachelors and I'm just hoping for an Anchorman fight scene reenactment. "No commercials... NOOOO MERCYYY!!"

How quickly these gimmick haters have forgotten... JoJo came out of the limo in a unicorn mask, thus, a lover of gimmicks she must be.

Did douchey Chad just have the best Freudian slip ever televised "Her breast... dress was amazing".

Derek is on my team and his self proclaimed dorkiness is not doing me any favors.

Jordan pulls WAY ahead and I feel like I'm back watching Britt cast her spell on Chris all over again.

It soon becomes unclear whether its James Taylor or Will with the fortune teller. It is also unclear if he's about to do something cute or creepy. Oh, demanding a kiss? Creepy. Great. Glad we cleared that up. Oh... and JoJo calls him Will... both quandaries have been cleared up.

Jordan just couldn't live with himself if he didn't get that kiss so he goes back for seconds, gets his kiss and America collectively "awwwww"s. Damn, why didn't I draft you Jordan?!

Daniel starts poking belly buttons and his downward spiral continues.

The first impression rose enters and all bachelor buttholes pucker. In the talks of the first impression rose and it's importance someone says "Olivia got the first impression rose... and she got left on an island". Touche.

Daniel has now stripped down to his VERY small underwear and has dove into the pool. He has officially gone full Canadian.

Fast forward to rose ceremony and just when you had forgotten, Jake Pavelka exits the limo. I am literally holding my breath. Jake does not deserve this goddess of a Bachelorette, there must be some sort of mis-understand. And as I'm yelling at JoJo to stop talking to him I realize ABC has pulled a fast one on me, Jake is a "close family friend"? And he's just there to tell her he hopes she finds love? WHAT kind of HORSESHIT is this?! Not cool ABC... NOT COOL.

Rose ceremony commences some of the obvious choices stay, some of the obvious choices go (except Daniel, wtf, he was drunk and essentially naked, but then again, in Bachelor Nation that's like immunity).

Somehow ALL FIVE of my draft picks are still intact. I know that won't last long so I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

The preview for the rest of the season looks awesome as always. You better not be tricking us ABC... this better ACTUALLY be the MOST DRAMATIC SEASON EVER!!!
*All Bachelorette photos property of ABC*

Shea's Palm Springs Fling: The Tote Bag

Several months ago now, my girlfriends and I headed out to sunny Palm Springs for my 30th birthday. We had a blast and, although we were there for my birthday, I wanted it to be about my friends too! That is why I curated the perfect collection of goodies for my girls, and put them in an adorable tote bag (designed by me and printed by my good friend Frankie with Go 2 Print Ink). Because you can never have enough tote bags am I right? Plus, it makes boring things like grocery shopping a little more fun when you have an adorable tote to carry your groceries.

Lets get into it, shall we...

1. Pink Flamingo drink float- These are a Palm Springs MUST. They keep your drink afloat while looking oh so adorable.
2. Custom Name Straws- With names like Shea, Danica, Stefana, and Kimiyo, to name a few, it's safe to say most of my friends never find their names on a keychain. So I thought it would be cool to get some custom name straws made (in pink of course). These straws were extremely reasonably priced (especially considering they were totally custom and made to order) AND they arrived SO quick. I will definitely be buying from them again.
3. Mini Perrier Can- I knew that some drinking would be happening and I wanted to give everyone a nice refreshing drink as an option as well. These cans were too cute to pass up and, add a cute paper straw with some bakers twine... perfection.
4. Mini Sofia Champagne Can- A PINK can of champagne?? It as a no-brainer.
5. Gold Flamingo Bottle Opener- You had me at gold flamingo... but then add in that its a functioning bottle opener and I knew I had to buy them.
6. Flamingo Towel (similar)- This wasn't something I had planned on buying (because towels aren't cheap). But Forever21 had them on clearance and they were too good to pass up.
7. Pink Heart Shaped Sunglasses- These little guys gave me a scare. These were the only MUST HAVE item in the bag. The pink heart shaped glasses were kind of the theme of the whole weekend. They were on the invite, they were on the tote, they were on the cake, they were everywhere. BUT... since they were coming from Hong Kong, they almost didn't make it in time! I think they ended up arriving a day or two before we left... THANKFULLY.
8. Custom Name Tags- These were something I whipped up on my Cricut Explore Air. I wanted everyone to know which tote bag was theirs without having to go through each one. Each bag was essentially the same, but with the custom name straws and tumblers it was nice to know whose was whose.
9. Flower Crown Headband (similar)- I'm a big proponent of all things flower crown. I wore one for my bridal shower. I wore one for my wedding. I even had a flower crown making station at my best friends baby shower! So these were obviously a must.
10. Custom Palm Springs Tote- I needed something to put everyone's goodies in! So a tote bag was an easy decision. A less easy decision was, what they were going to look like. After some tweaks and changes, I landed on this design. I sent it over to my friend Frankie at Go 2 Print Ink and he created something that was my EXACT vision. He even surprised me by making the inside of the sunglasses a black glitter. So perfect.

**Correction**
When I originally wrote this post, I TOTALLY forgot one of the best things included in the tote! The custom tumblers! The tumblers themselves were a Target dollar spot find (Thank you Bryanna for searching several stores until we had enough). Then, using my Cricut Explore Air I added everyone's names in hot pink (AND in the same font as the invites and totes of course). These were a hit and the reason I forgot to include it originally is because I've been using it ever since!

And that's it! Everything that was in my "Shea's Palm Springs Fling" tote bags! I still love everything that was in them and hope all my girls did too. Now... the question is... what is my next party going to be??

*This post may contain affiliate links*

A Mother of a Day

Somehow, I'm not really sure how it happened, we ended up hosting Mother's Day this year. I had reached out to my Mother In Law to ask her what her plans were and she suggested maybe coming to our house. So the plan was set in motion. I ran it by my mom and she was on board too. So I began the same way I begin every party plan, with a color scheme. 

It was pretty last minute so I tried to work with what I had. 

I already have a ton of black and white stuff (because I'm drawn to it) both left over from our wedding as well as just lying around because I can't help myself when I see it for sale. I also had a ton of hot pink stuff left over from my birthday. Once the color scheme was determined, the crafting began. 

Tassels and custom straws were of course a must.

And if you know me at ALL, you KNOW there was a photo backdrop.

 It was also a great excuse to spruce up the backyard. 

Rug: Target // Umbrella: Target // Umbrella Stand: Home Depot // Furniture: Hand-me-down from my grandma

 Tabletop: Ikea // Table Legs: Ikea // Drink Bin: Target (similar) // Cooler: Amazon 

We've had that big marquee O since before our wedding and I never quite found a good place for it until the party. There was already a nail there so it worked out great!

 The cupcake toppers were of course a Cricut project. 

 So cute, right?

Sam had actually gone to the farmers market the day before and picked up tons of gorgeous flowers while he was there, so I grabbed some of my leftover wedding vases and created some cute little arrangements with them. 

Some of Sam's family from out of state who I had never really gotten a chance to visit with happen to be in town so it was great getting a chance to get to know them and of course it was wonderful spending time with the family that I do know. Time spent with family is never time wasted. It turned out to be a gorgeous day with wonderful people and memories I will cherish.